“Tell me….I’ll forget,

Show me…I’ll remember,

Involve me…I’ll understand!"

                                                                                     Chinese proverb

 When we begin to tell each other our ideas, thoughts, dreams, and fears, we have begun to open the door to greater understanding and awareness. Like minds attract. Singers often talk about their problems. They tell each other how difficult a certain aria is, or how afraid they are of the high notes. Everyone agrees that we all have fears about our ability to perform, but seldom do we share how easy it is to sing.  We readily agree with those who profess how difficult it is to sing, but tell me how easy it is, and I’ll say, “forget about it!” Tell me how difficult it is and I am relieved to know I’m part of the vast majority who believe that statement. This means we have stopped thinking. So many times we have heard what we wanted to hear and called it a day. The things we disagreed with we either negate, don’t think worthy of discussing, or think the other a bit of a fool. We often dismiss thoughts that might open a new door. Most of the time we choose to stick with our old information because we are comfortable with it. Until we start waking up, we stay in our old way of thinking and miss the opportunity to rethink our information. We keep telling each other negative thoughts, and more or less bask in them. We feel part of the crowd.     

To be open to new information is an acquired skill. We are often so locked into our own way of thinking that we miss many chances to see the other side of the coin. Once we have decided that our information is the only way to look at things we stop seeing other possibilities and stop growing. Finally we realize we are stuck—which may be for longer than we want to admit—and need to wake up and search for a different road to travel to get us out of our rut. The rut we were in, however, has been a comfortable one. It is one shared by the majority. It has kept us safe and locked away. Not only does it take great courage to leave the flock and find our own way, but it also requires a Herculean kind of energy and enormous moral strength to climb out of our predicament by our own resources. When we realize we were only living half a life held in place by our reluctance to continually move ahead with new thoughts and ideas, there is a lot of sadness. We must leave old thoughts behind. Many times our emotions can keep us locked in this position. We smile and stay stuck, when we could be joyously forging ahead into a new future.  

In my case, when my piano playing fell apart, practically my whole life fell apart. Nothing seemed to be going right. Friendships, relationships, work situations—all were in a state of stagnation. And yet on some level I didn’t think I had the energy to climb out of the pit. That meant I had to get in touch with my real self. But who was I? There is no one more tyrannical, critical, or unforgiving than our false self. Somewhere along the line we forget who we are and why we are here. My life had become a series of pleasing others, performing for others, and setting such high standards that I could not live up to them. We also take the blame for our predicament because we didn’t work hard enough. The information I was working with seemed beyond my grasp and I started feeling stupid because I couldn’t catch on. It somehow didn’t occur to me that maybe I had been given false ideas to start with. Instead of trying to think of different ways to help me feel what I was doing rather than think of what I was doing, I was left with information that only spoke to the intellect. It is impossible to put into words what something feels like, tastes like, smells like, looks like, or sounds like. Therefore, telling yourself that you do not understand the information is hopeless, because it is about feeling. Learning to play the piano correctly is a matter of getting in touch with the feeling of correct coordination. Learning to sing is also a matter of this coordination. It takes an accumulation of facts that must all come together at the same time. If one of the elements of coordination is missing we remain in the dark. One must constantly be willing to change his/her thought patterns to reach this correct coordination. As the word security rears its ugly head, so does the word technique. Security and technique many times mean to us the same thing. We get stuck in this idea of a secure technique, and must realize that there is nothing secure about singing—it is always about taking a chance. When we can embrace that thought, we can begin to understand what piano playing or singing is all about. It is constantly taking a chance. Yet if we keep our energy moving, movement becomes our security. When we first learned to ride a bicycle, we learned to balance on two wheels. When we became adept at it we could take our hands off the handlebars and fly free. The one thing we had to remember is to keep pedaling. One of my students said that when he came to me he was riding a tricycle. Then I asked him to ride a bicycle. Never did he imagine that I would ultimately want him to ride a unicycle. The key is to keep our conscious mind from stopping the motion of the body. Just as a juggler must keep objects constantly in motion, so must an artist always be thinking ahead and be constantly in motion. However, there are real reasons why we don’t want to leave the feeling of security. We really like the stability of a tricycle.  

 For most of us, becoming a musician is not the accepted way to live your life. We are always encouraged to find security first, then if there is enough time, dally around with our music as a pastime. We gather as much information as we can to be sure we’re going to be secure as a musician. We go to anyone and everyone we can to gather this information, believing that if we can intellectually work hard enough we will find vocal security. We look for the great technique that will give us the security we believe art demands. This leads to grandiosity. Now we develop a rock steady voice, learn to be the consummate musician, the definitive interpreter {usually learned from recordings}, and can prove to our parents, our friends, and eventually even our higher selves that we can succeed in this daunting task of becoming a professional musician. We have put on the armor of intellect, and called it singing. Then, armed with all this information, we now know everything there is to know about singing or playing an instrument. Other mentors can add to what we already know to be true, but don’t rock our foundation even though it not be working so well. We have stopped listening to our intuitive selves, and walked right into the pit. A technique was developed, and we stopped moving into the future. We manufactured a false self to present ourselves to the world. The voice is false also. We put a shell around our vulnerability and lost our true uniqueness as well. Now we sound like everybody else.

     “For the majority of sensitive people, the true self remains deeply and thoroughly hidden. But how can you love something you do not know, something that has never been loved? So it is that many a gifted person lives without any notion of his or her true self. Such people are enamored of an idealized, conforming, false self. They will shun their hidden and lost true self, unless depression makes them aware of its loss or psychosis confronts them harshly with that true self, whom they now have to face and to whom they are delivered up, helplessly, as to a threatening stranger.”

        “The Drama of the Gifted Child” ---  Alice Miller

{I cannot recommend this book highly enough to every one who is gifted in any field. It should be on the shelf of any person who aspires to be an artist. If you were born with the information written in this book, then it is imperative that you be reborn to its truths. If you were not born with this information as part of the deck of cards with which you came in here to play, then you must make this part of your life --because what is best in you will die if you don’t.}

By the time depression or psychosis sets in, we have become very protective of ourselves. We now distrust most input into our conscious minds. Therefore, we block new information by conveniently forgetting it. Sometimes we know that the new information will save us, but we’ve been in the pit too long. It’s more comfortable to stay there than try to crawl out. But sooner or later, if we’re waking up, it becomes too unbearable down there and we struggle with all our might to extricate ourselves. In this struggle is the awful task of looking at all the information we’ve accumulated and throwing much of it out. The trouble here is that there are emotions connected with this information, so that is why remembering is such a Herculean effort. We become very uncomfortable with this new way of doing things, and yet we are left with no choice. Staying stuck eventually takes much more energy than moving ahead. At this point in our development, we must now be aware of what we are being told about our art, and how we speak about our art. Now comes the time to get out of the “singer talk” and begin to think for ourselves. Telling each other that it is easy to sing begins to take us in a new, positive direction. We need peers who are on the same path for a support system.

Now that our defenses are down, we dare the new information of “show us”—prove to me how easy it is. As we become more open to new thoughts, we begin to relax and are able to draw the curtain away from our closed minds. As the mind begins to soften and open, our bodies begin to relax, and the ideas that have been blocking our breathing leave, and allow more energy to enter our bodies. The brain finally gets the energy it needs to override the conscious mind, and we begin to think for ourselves. The brain starts to work again. We begin to be open to these new thoughts and can at last get in touch with our intuitive self—maybe for the first time since we were young children. We can get a glimpse of remembering how it was to be free.  As we start to get some results, the body itself begins to “show” us where we are going. We no longer need to listen to the outside voices that have kept us in the pit. Self esteem grows, and with it a new confidence. We begin to see how much larger in actual fact we really are than the grandiose person we created. The false person begins to disappear, and we slowly claim our own power. The false, negative talk also stops, and a new joy takes its place. You are becoming your authentic self. Now you are experiencing your own feeling of security.

As we begin to be shown by experiencing, we start to remember. Remembering our task on the planet is our duty. When we were born, we forgot everything. It is our job to wake up and remember what we came here for. Why should one sing? A child does it out of pure joy. We didn’t know how much our talent would alienate us from other people. Having this talent sets us apart. It is only when we begin using it for our own glory, or for getting attention and adulation from our elders that the problems begin. We actually forgot what a joy making music is. Talent is a double-edged sword, because on the one hand our parents get to show us off, and yet we are told it is something we shouldn’t do because there is no security in it. Why aren’t you a doctor, an athlete, a computer whiz? This double message is devastating, especially if you have recognized at a young age that that is your purpose for coming here. The part of us that puts us in touch with our real selves is so often dismissed as frivolous and of no material value in our lives. Yet it is our very soul that needs this outlet. Without it, a part of us dies. Therefore, it is not a question of making music to make a living, but making music to live. How rich we are when it is part of our lives, and how poor we are without it.

As we allow ourselves to be “shown,” we begin to realize that the voice is here to serve the higher good not only of ourselves, but the positive vibes we can bring to this noisy planet. As we become involved in something much more than our own selves, we start to reclaim our real uniqueness. We become involved with making sure the planet is benefiting from our energy. The great music of the world should be an elevating experience. If it is not—then we are not fulfilling what we came here to do. We are experiencing a time so in need of being elevated that if you don’t fulfill your purpose for being here, this wonderful thing called singing will cease to exist. Singing correctly is very therapeutic and freeing. If there is no other reason to sing, one must do it for your own sense of well being. As you free your voice, the vibrations become organic and more powerful. You become more powerful. Only then are you fulfilling your destiny for being here. If you have an audience, you are also moving them in an awesome way. They too are enjoying and benefiting from your positive vibrations. You can then touch their intuitive spirit with yours—and that is the soul of communication. What you sing about is of little importance.  That you communicate with your sound is everything. You can wake up your own life and help others in the process. Things begin to dawn on us, and “understanding” occurs.

To move into being involved with the music is a transformation. We must leave all our trying and thinking behind. When the transformation is complete, the brain takes over the functions of singing, and we move into a whole world of choices and options we never had before. If the conscious mind is holding on, the emotions are holding on, or the body is holding on, we haven’t quite cleared the way to allow the music to happen. When the process is complete, we can be totally involved in the music—not in the “technique” that got us there. Great singing is above the technique. Only then do we understand this opening of the way. The switch is in thinking what you are actually doing, not how you are doing it. Moving from being a student to being a performer is the goal. Then our intuitive mind takes over and the music can take wings. Being grounded we must be, but that does not mean rooted. Let your musicality soar as a result of allowing your voice to soar.    

When your involvement is complete, you now will understand why you are here. Your imagination can then help you create what you could only dream about before. With this understanding comes an ecstasy that only performers know. The nerves we feel before a performance are unique to the artist. Most people never experience this feeling. It is not an hysteria, but a great desire to do the very best for the composer when you perform. The nervousness we feel should not be for ourselves, but an emotional reaction to live up to the greatness of the task before us. What a privilege to serve these great composers. Any time we perform, it is our duty to serve the music to the best of our ability—no matter what the size of the audience. If there is no audience at all, we are sending out positive vibrations. As we take the responsibility of being involved, the whole Universe is the grateful recipient. What an honor that is—and yet a very humbling experience at the same time. We can have heaven right here on earth. The planet needs these positive vibrations to survive. They will help cancel out the noise we are being bombarded with. The word “music” has become a blanket word for all kinds of negative vibrations.  

We are here to serve the music, not have the music serve us. When we understand this fact, our energy changes and helps change the energy of the planet. The success of this endeavor is up to us. We grow out of being self conscious, and start becoming conscious of ourselves. We start to know ourselves, and fear leaves. This is the goal of any artistic endeavor. In fact, it is the basis for living a productive and happy life. The task is not an easy one, and yet it is the only one. Be selective about the information you use to sing. Use your brain, not your voice. Begin to remember what freedom really feels like. Start getting involved. Desire to understand. Become your highest self. Soar!